Indelible Footprints

In life we come in contact with individuals that make an indelible footprint. In the way people behave, what people say, we often take these nuggets of wisdom, fun, or experience and weave these thoughts and experiences into the way we live our lives. Essentially these special times are etched into our history and we subconsciously reflect on them throughout our life. We do things and remember an individual who taught us how to tie our shoes, or drive a car. Often times, it is our father who gives us these nuggets of wisdom. However, today, I want to honor and remember a man that was not my father, but was a man that made an impact, a man who’s actions provided me with direction for the future, a man who bestowed guidance that has shaped the way in which I live my life---his name, Dick Haughey.

I met Dick, known by all as Dad, when I was 19 years old. His son, Todd and I were very close friends, a brother if you will. Todd and I along with his brother Rick worked together in construction. Along with work, we played together on weekends, and it was Dad at the helm. One may be puzzled and ask “uh, say, his name is Mr. Haughey or Dick, not Dad” Frankly, it felt strange to call him “Dick,” while everyone called him “Dad,” so I merely followed the family. So to honor him, I refer to this godly man as “Mr. Dad.”

Yes, Mr. Dad made a huge impact in my life. I’d like to share a few of those experiences.

Remember “long” socks

For those who wear business suits---Monday when getting ready for work and you rifle through the dresser to locate a pair of socks, remember Mr. Dad’s advice, sometimes you need to wear long socks.

I attended a social event with the family and for some reason, Mr. Dad and I were dressing in a hotel room and I remember, putting on the tux, and slipping on a pair of what I thought were nice black socks. Mr. Dad witnessed this major fashion faux paus and exclaimed “Buff, you just can’t wear those socks. If you cross your legs, your naked calf will be shown….this is completely wrong. Here, put these on.” He handed me a pair of rather long black socks that covered my calf and I think my thigh. “There, that’s better.” To date, when getting ready for an “event,” I remember Mr. Dad’s advice and slip on the long socks. So for my next “event,” in your honor, I’ll make sure to wear a pair of long ones—I thought a hot pink number might provide a nice compliment to a black pinstripe suit or tuxedo……maybe not.

Everyone Plays, and Everyone Works

For those who have children, invariably, your son or daughter will want to have their buddies over for dinner, to spend the night, or tag along for a weekend family retreat. Parents are faced with added responsibility, a change in family dynamics, and a desire to make the experience a good one.

Recently I heard my Pastor speak about loving those who enter into your house. He said that love is shown to those who visit---to accept them and to show the acceptance by letting them help with chores. No I don’t mean, “Thank you for coming over, now, do the dishes.” No….what the Pastor meant was that to show to those (he was referring kids) who come to “spend the night,” go on family outing, they should help with the tasks to make them feel as part of the group, part of the family----accepted.

I think my Pastor must have seen Mr. Dad in action. You see there were many weekends that I joined the family and would travel to Lake Havasu. We would travel in the grand motorhome and pull the infamous “Hoys Toys” boat behind. On those travels everyone helped out. The entire family all worked as a well-trained pit crew getting the vessel ready for its next excursion. Wash, wax, vacuum, remember to oil the teakwood, each of one of us had a task, and Mr. Dad worked alongside leading the team. Sure, it was fun to enjoy the skiing, but what made the experience much more memorable was the fact that Mr. Dad made it point to have everyone included; everyone was part of the team. I had a responsibility to carry my load, and as result I truly felt loved by this wonderful family. Thank you Mr. Dad for your acceptance.

Greeting Cards

Have you ever received a birthday card or Christmas card? I along with many others have received a ton. Mr. Dad thought that these cards were quite silly. “I can’t see why someone would pay $3.00 to have someone write a poem on a card, have it read out loud and then throw it away.” Obviously, we were all respectful of his viewpoint and on his 50th birthday; one particular gift was his favorite---“50 birthday cards.” Mr. Dad howled with laughter and with a tear said, “Thank you very much, I will keep them all forever.”

Get up on those skis—NOW!!

Mr. Dad was a man of God; a man of many sayings and he had some keepers. I remember floating in the water, trying to get up on those doggone water-skis. As Mr. Dad pulled the boat around for the 4th time, he called out to offer some words of encouragement. “Say, Buff I could have had sex, and had a large pizza by the time you get up on those skis. Now, get going.” It was at that point, Mr. Dad inspired me to patent what I like to call the “submarine move.” No longer would Mr. Dad ever need to pull the boat around to offer another failed pulled. Instead, if I fell, I would hold on for dear life, gulping countless gallons of water until the watercraft would stop. I would quickly regroup, reposition, and yell “Hit, It!” Sometimes, this unusual way of waterskiing would require 2 to 3 attempts before a successful launch. All the while, I could hear Mr. Dad laughing aloud in his captain’s chair, and then raise his visor in celebration when I finally would be up on those cotton-pickin skis. He showed great patience and provided great humor to a rather, I must admit, painful process.

Providing For Others

Mr. Dad was truly a man dedicated to his family. I saw a man that was flat out crazy in love with his wife, a man that showed incredible love and discipline for his children, and a man that was committed to providing for others. I saw a man that made it point to provide for his kids some wonderful experiences. I remember one skiing trip to the lake, the usual suspects loaded for a weekend jaunt, but this time, Mr. Dad would not be joining us. He needed to work and so he helped us pack and sent us off to enjoy the weekend, while he remained at home to serve one of his many clients. As we left the house, I remember sitting in the motorhome reflecting about Mr. Dad’s generosity. Here I was enjoying the fruits of his labor, while he gladly made it happen. Thank you, for those wonderful experiences. You have set the bar quite high for others to follow.

With These Footprints Now What

Yes, I will remember to wear those long socks, and yes I will remember those interesting “encouraging comments” while attempting to ski; however, I may still send out a few birthday cards. Today, I’ve long since moved on with my life creating wonderful memories along the way, but those river trips which today seem like yesterday will long be remembered. I look forward to that day, when my son grows older and has one of his buddies join us for a weekend retreat. I promise to follow Mr. Dad’s lead and will welcome my son’s friends with love and open arms--- as they come into my home; and hopefully I too can bestow some of the nuggets of wisdom that Dick Haughey gave to me.

So thank you, Mr. Dad.” You truly made an indelible footprint on my life.”